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Archive for October, 2009

Going Steady

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For the past three months Phil has been, well, unemployed. As many of you know, his days at Davies came to an end in late July. Hannah promptly threw him a party (no, I’m not kidding) and he began looking for a new job.

Just days into this process it became clear to me that finding a job looks a lot like the dating scene. Perhaps this is just some convoluted way of me dealing with the unpredictability of losing a steady paycheck on the heels of having our second child. Regardless, finding these parallels has helped us to not take ourselves too seriously along the way.

  Not surprisingly, Phil’s pursuit has generated lots of response. He’s had many first dates. There’s been brief encounters over coffee (they almost always went Dutch). He’s also had the longer than expected lunch (the other person paid leaving Phil to wonder what exactly that meant). He’s even endured a crazy ten minute encounter in front of Peets with a slightly paranoid trust-fund kid during which Phil was practically asked for his hand in a financially perilous marriage (he said no, by the way).

There have been first dates that went great, only to be followed by weeks of silence (don’t you just hate it when you hold your breath every time the phone rings). He’s been set up on numerous occasions. Typically these encounters were entirely positive. Yet ultimately none of them took (lots of the timing just isn’t right scenarios).

When Phil has spotted an attractive option, he’s had no qualms about asking them out. Some have responded warmly and with sincere interest. Others have dismissed him entirely. Still others have sent incredibly mixed messages (the kiss followed by the let’s just be friends card).

One relationship did in fact start to develop. A blind date turned out better than expected. Before long, the pursuer was sharing all sorts of intimate details of the organizations inner workings. Both parties grew in their excitement for one another. Phil met the proverbial family and everything seemed to be moving in the right direction. Until, the dreaded email (online breakups are so uncouth in both dating and career moves if you ask me).

Like any savvy dating man, Phil has kept his options open. You see, there was another prospect all along. He’d been honest with all parties involved and everyone seemed okay with the fact that he was seeing several people at once.  

This other option had initially arrived on the scene the very week of his break-up with his old firm. It carried with it hope for life beyond what he’d known. First there was coffee. Then, lunch…which in turn developed into other lunches. However, about a month in the enthusiasm waned when they had their first “DTR” (in this case, it involved Phil revealing his salary history). While the relationship wasn’t over, there was some sorting out to do.

In the interim, more dates unfolded. Outfits were carefully selected to match each encounter (thanks Men’s Wearhouse)!  He dabbled in online dating, and again decided that this monster was not for him. He even spent the better part of one afternoon buried in EDD literature, only to determine that it wasn’t his type

 Ultimately, the relationship that I mentioned above (the one in which the “DTR” slowed things down a bit) is now moving forward. As of this past Sunday, they’ve agreed to go steady. Both parties really like each other and want to get to know one another better (a three-month contract for now). It seems that they’re taking the long-view. And after all of our adventures in the dating scene, this seems the perfect scenario.

 

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Fall

 

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We’re back from a week away with my mom. We had a great time – computer free! I have several posts percolating…just need to find the time to write them. For now, I thought I’d add a fun picture from the trip.

Happy fall!

 

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Timing

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I just want to know why the trash man always seems to arrive ten minutes into nap time? While his actual arrival time is far from predictable, what is in fact predictable is that every Tuesday Hailey wakes up very prematurely and very grumpy to the sound of crashing trash cans. Glad the guy comes every week … just wish he had better timing.

*For those of you concerned by the photograph that I’ve somehow missed every piece of literature on SIDS over the past six years, rest assured that baby Hailey is not sleeping in a twin bed with covers and lots of soft friends these days. This picture was shot by Hannah during some playtime with her sister. One of her favorite things to do is invite Hailey to come hang out in big sister’s room.

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Taking in the View

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Little Hailey started to roll last week. She performed her first tummy to back roll in the presence of my friend who happens to be a pediatric occupational therapist (impeccable timing, Hailey). The next day, when the rest of her pack was eating lunch, she did her first flip from back to belly. When I looked over and realized what she’d done, I went straight over and congratulated her as any good parent would do. I should have stopped there. Instead, I gave the child under ten seconds to take in her new view before flipping my proverbial trick monkey back over on her back in hopes that she’d roll again (she didn’t by the way).

Lame parenting move on my part. Instead of allowing sweet Hailey to soak in what she had done, I prompted her for more. While I understand that a three month-old heart probably won’t need to call up this example in a counseling session at a later date, I am thankful for what the moment taught me.

How quick I am to see past what my children are presently discovering with the hopes of them taking on even more. Potential it seems can cut both ways. Yes, I want the best for my girls. But could it be that some of the best rests in those instances between the spurts? Life just might take on a richer dimension if we foster an environment that leaves room for both the accomplishments and the views.

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On Sleep Deprivation

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We’re now a little over three months into being a household of four. In a lot of ways I’ve started feeling more like myself lately. But last Saturday I was reminded that interrupted sleeep does have its consequences. Apparently, Boo’s consistent midnight visits foster embarrassing and dangerous ramifications for myself and those I come into contact with.

In a single evening out at a bridal shower I managed to…

…drive thirty miles north along the coast with my brights on –  in broad daylight! Possibly even more ridiculous than the act itself was the internal pondering of why I’d never noticed that little blue light on the dashboard when my headlights were on?

…prepare and then serve a delicious chocolate cupcake to the bride-to-be who happens to be VERY allergic to the “secret ingredient” mixed deep inside (avocado). Did I mention that I’ve been friends with the bride-to-be for well over a decade and completely know that she’s allergic to this food?

…turn to one of the bridesmaids as she was selecting a song to play and ask in disgust why on earth the bride had Britney Spears on her Ipod playlist – only to find out that this bridesmaid had actually put this song intentionally on her playlist for the shower that night.

…took out an entire counter of wine glasses and coffee mugs while retrieving the serving platter for the aforementioned death cakes while trying to make an early (and quiet) exit from the festivities.

The evening proved just ridiculous enough that I was able to laugh my way back down the coast (with regular-old headlights shining)  knowing that I’d been among friends for my night of social blunders.

  

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